First Count On Yourself

It was a typical single-storey village primary school constructed in "L" shape. The courtyard had a big Banyan tree to the left of the entrance flanked by few other trees.

Every morning the kids would assemble under the shade by forming straight parallel queues and sing a prayer. This would be followed by a pledge and National Anthem. The shrillness of their sound would reverberate across their village homes and fields where parents, busy in daily chores, would nurture the hope that one day their wards would land a good job in life. 

Alas! The dreams would soon shed their wings. Many of these dreams would die in their infancy unable to survive beyond middle-school. Why? Because of the lack of skills in English language. Yes, English. Just another language!!

And who would be responsible for this? The Teachers, that's what is told. For decades now!!

The Universal Choice

I used to think there were only three choices if someone were to be in a situation that he disliked:

(a) Accept the situation (b) leave the situation or (c) do something to change that situation

Apparently I was unaware of another option that in fact is the most prevalent one – Expect someone else to change the situation for you. It has in fact permeated every sphere of our lives.

We are happy simply passing over the buck to someone else. In the office, if I am not getting a pay hike then it is because my boss is biased and doesn't like me. At home, if I can't give time to my family then my office work is to be blamed for. If our kids get low grades then it is due to ineffective teachers. If they no longer listen to us then they have lost all kinds of manners. If our city is not clean then it is to due to the useless municipality or fellow citizens. If there is unruly traffic on the road then others don't know how to drive. If there is corruption then it is due to the system.

It is always THEM. Are we responsible for something? Ever???

The Victim

We are brilliant actors. The role we play the best is – playing a victim. We love to play a victim because it absolves us of any responsibility. The blame never stains our dress. It also grants us the permit to brag about what we might have been able to achieve otherwise.

The Buck Starts With You

For any positive change in circumstances, one must first own the responsibility for change. If you ever tend to blame someone/something for a situation, first have a peek into your own SELF. Reflect upon your own role. Then, and more importantly, reflect upon what you could do to change it because nothing will change unless you strive for it. After all, going through life expecting others to change things for you won't take you far.

Step up. Start counting on YOURSELF!!

As for the village school, only if few educated parents could come forward, improve their own English and then help the kids. They just have to count on themselves first.

A Voyage Around the Sun

On 16th May 2014, the largest democracy in the world - India - witnessed the remarkable emergence and installation of a new Government. Close to 551 million voters (more than 60%) went out to vote and exercised their right to choose among available options (candidates). They decided and acted on what they wanted.

What was the outcome for those who didn't vote? Since they CHOSE not to act, they received the "Default" outcome decided by others. Whether they like the outcome now or not, they are stuck with it for next 5 years.

"Default outcome" is what you receive when you don't act.

At the Speed of Earth

I wasn't aware of the word "Default" until my college days. Later, it turned out to be one of the most commonly used words in my professional life. Of course most of us know what it means. But have you ever considered what it potentially could reveal and convey when applied to your life?

If you are like me then your New Year is ushered in with a bang of "Happy New Year". The night brims with life and bliss as we dance, drink and celebrate the first dawn of every New Year. In hindsight, the year in the rear view almost always seems to have cruised past us. We wonder and even remark how quickly it slipped by. Leaving behind an ever-growing pile of "Dreams and Desires"!!

Now on the first morning, as the hangover subsides and the eardrum vibrations diminish, we step into the New Year only to plump down in the lap of routine-life moments later. Consumed by its perennial rut, we embark upon yet another trip around the sun, just like dozens or scores before, hurtling at an amazing 30 km/sec in space. The destination? Of course no clue!!

The Next Default Trip

For a moment close your eyes. Imagine you are standing above and outside the earth in space. Pause your journey and think about what "Default" means for your life as you watch the blue marble.

What default results would your life lead to at the end if you don't act on your dreams? Is that what you desire?

Here is what Cambridge dictionary states DEFAULT means:- "The thing that exists or happens if you do not change it intentionally by performing an action". Another dictionary states: "Failure to act; inaction or neglect".

Do you want a DEFAULT outcome – an outcome not decided by you?

If no then the time to act is now. Challenge the DEFAULT, the status quo in your life. Otherwise, you are just 7 months away from another trip around the sun. The Next Hurrah or rather The Next Default Trip!!

Welcome Aboard??

The Bright Sunshine

Good Morning!! Aren't these wonderful words? In fact, these might be the first two words your loved ones get to hear from you every morning. And so does the rest of your universe - colleagues, friends and customers. On the flip side, these also are the first words you get to hear from them.

The Joy of Being Welcomed
The big 'checkered-floor' training room on the 2nd floor was full of computers that were arranged along its three sides. A projector lay in the middle facing the fourth. For next one month, this would be the seating and training area for a batch of 30+ young professionals raring to dive into the corporate world. And I just happened to be one among them. 

On our very first day, as I swung open the door, a brisk animated voice greeted me from the far end of the room. "Good Morning, Vinod". It caught me completely unaware (or rather like a deer in front of the headlights). It was so unique and invigorating simply due to its joyful tone. Somewhat startled, I looked up in its direction to spot the person. It was Sanil, Sanil Pillai, with a twinkle in his eyes that were fixed on me. He had a big smile on his face while his fingers continued playing with the keys.

I had never been 'accorded' such a welcome-greeting before to a day in my life. I really didn't know how to react and could barely muster a soft response. It took me few days to get used to such an energetic and lively 'welcome'. For next one year, until he quit, Sanil would welcome everyone with the same zeal and zest. But by then, it had rubbed on me too. The fact that I remember the moment even after a decade and a half shows how much it has impacted me. Besides, it also pushed me to respond with equal zest.

Bright Sunshine 
Have you ever observed HOW do you greet another person into a new day? A day of their life that they are about to spend with you? 

Do you greet them with a DRY welcome - engrossed in your preoccupation, no smile, no eye-contact and the words stretching themselves hard to reach the person? OR Do you greet them with a WARM welcome - shine in your eyes, a smile on the face and exuding LIFE. Does your "Good Morning" play like a subdued-note OR sounds like a chime? Does the tone of your voice cheer them up? Does it fill them with energy and excitement? 

If you still don't know then just think about this - How different is your "Good Morning" from your "Good Night"?

Bright Sunshine - that's what "Good Morning" stands for. Wish them abundance of it. With your complete presence! The way Sanil does!! Until next morning!!!

Out of Order Show

The band struck the chords and drums to tune up and their beats reverberated briefly through the auditorium. We were at the fag end of our marathon half-day session. The starving crowd, which had already queued itself next to the dinner tables, turned their heads in anticipation. They, however, were disappointed as no sound bite followed for next few minutes. As the minutes ticked by, there were occasional guitar, drums, keyboard beats and they were largely ignored. The wait was appearing to be agonizingly long and few persons had already left.

At last, the band played. And what a show it turned out to be! For next 30 minutes, they belted out one hit after another sending shivers down everyone's spines. They captivated their small audience and held them spellbound. The effect probably was magnified due to smaller size of the auditorium and familiar faces in the crowd and the band. It felt like being in a college fest after ages.

Later that night, while driving back home, I couldn't resist thinking about "The Band". They had a very peculiar name – Out of Order Band. If this was what Out-of-Order meant then I was for it every single moment of my life.

Noise or Music?

A band, in essence, produces sound that sounds like phenomenal music because it is produced in a certain pattern and order. How can they do it? Because its members understand and complement each other. They come together to play in unison, not in isolation. They do not compete with each other and neither any one plays to outdo the rest. Every member acknowledges and respects the contribution of others. Occasionally and intentionally, they allow one of them to take over and hog the limelight for a while. Why? Because that's what the music demands sometimes in order to propel the audience experience and that member to a higher level. And what do other members do? They simply raise themselves up to meet and match them all in that higher orbit. This is one of the ways how tempo is built. At its peak, it is beyond words and can only be experienced.

The Sounds of Life

Yes, life mirrors a musical band. Whether its sound bites seem like music or noise is controlled by us. What instruments and how many does your band require is decided by you. After all, it is your band.

In general, the instruments we struggle to synchronize across would fall under these 4 categories (rather they are the instruments): Personal, Professional, Family and Social.

We must recognize and respect contribution of our band members and ensure they play in unison. If they compete with each other every single moment, you will only feel stress and hear noise. Of course occasionally one or the other will hog the limelight for a while. Only for a while! Because if you allow one member to play for far too long, you run the risk of ruining the show. Your very own "SHOW"!!

The Selfish Faith

Has your GOD ever spoken to you? Really really spoke? What if HE could utter words, just like you? What would happen? 

The Bitter Truth

A person returning from temple, with smeared forehead and a small copper vessel in hand, was caught in a 4-way traffic junction. With no traffic signal and cop in sight, motorists were having a field day from all directions. When the devotee dared to cross this maze, a car driver blared the horn almost tripping him. He lost composure and started moving frantically back and forth. If he steps forward to cross, the driver in front blares again to dare not cross. Now if he retreats, he finds no space since the vehicle behind him has already inched ahead. So he hops further along the road to another empty passage and yet another driver forces his retreat. This ruthless game almost sucked the life out of him. After 15-20 nightmarish seconds, he eventually regained composure and managed to cross somehow. Phew!!

Of course all these motorists would have prayed to their respective Gods before leaving homes. In fact, many of them may even have God 'parked' permanently on their dashboards. But they failed to notice HIM since a convenient, fearful and selfish belief does not lead to logically, or even humanely, expected behavior.

Play the Game

Imagine yourself as an independent observer who is observing a group of persons harboring three distinct mindsets:

a. A subset of them is indifferent to you. They know that they have to fend for themselves anyway. 

b. A subset of them is fearful of your presence. Their true self is revealed when you are not present.

c. A subset of them love your existence. They are fond of you and, therefore, find you everywhere. 

Now if you are asked to arrange them in the order of your admiration, what would be your pick? If set (b) gravitates towards the bottom then that is because rarely someone likes such inconsistent individuals. They lack something very basic - "Integrity". They are neither true to you nor to themselves. They wear masks. They deceive.

God, an independent observer like you, must be staring constantly at these three sets. No surprise to realize which set do most of us belong to.

The Genie of God

For us, God is like a Genie. Confined to our homes and places of worship, HE appears only when summoned at a particular time everyday to listen to the list of our wishes pertaining just to us and near/dear ones. 

Though we believe HE resides in our hearts and every being but that's exactly the place where we do not want HIM to be. Instead we carry HIM along on the dashboard of cars, our wallets or even around necks and wrists conveniently failing to notice HIM in billions of beings surrounding us. Even when we pray or beg HIM, we look at HIM outside us. The truth is we look for HIM ONLY in inanimate objects. Why? Because they cannot speak! If they could then we would have been rendered speechless by our very own actions. For us, God lived in the PAST. 

The Reason for Belief

Ever wondered why do you believe in God? More importantly, would you still have faith in HIM if he was believed to fulfill none of your wishes? If still yes then WHY? If out of love for HIM then why ignore billions of HIS forms? The fact is Fear rules our Conditioned Mind and Heart. Our faith is convenient, fearful and selfish.

Just behold your SELF and peek within to get your answer. May be you can catch a glimpse of HIM too!!

The Puddle of Memories

A hot brown trickle streaked down the brimming cup of tea as I gently placed it on the small glass table. Sprawling on a cane chair in our 7th floor balcony, I stared down across the wet podium-garden area. The early Sunday morning was wet and quiet. The occasional gusts of playful mist forced a slight retreat of the furniture, and its occupant, which in turn forced a soaked vigilant pigeon, perched atop the balcony railing, hop along to settle farther to the right corner. The two ever-dry small ponds in the garden were sprung to life by unabated week-long monsoon rains. The four glass roof pillared-shelters too had thin layer of water on top to cushion the falling drops. With every sip, I was observing thus-far neglected simple wonders of nature. Somewhere along this passage, the downpour turned into glimpses from childhood immersing and indulging me, leading to even more discoveries...

In the lap of Nature

The long tin roof sloping down the thick first-floor walls of our semi-pucca home had produced a short distinct familiar sound. The metal had just been hit by the first drop from the heavens heralding the onset of monsoon. With subsiding distinctiveness of successive sounds, the family dashed out into the large brick-paved courtyard to clear away the clothes line, drag in jute-rope beds, collect sun-drying strewn around grains/spices and even herd the cattle into their shed. By the time commotion ended, the scent of first rain had permeated the surroundings.

Soon, we, the carefree kids, were playing barefoot in the rain. Jostling for few moments beneath the roof-drains, we pushed each other hard. Lying in the rain, we felt the droplets prick our bodies as we battled to keep eyes wide-open. Later running down the dirty flooded village streets, we drove bicycles and their worn-out tyres and splash-sploshed. In those moments, we probably were closest to ourselves, The Nature.

The act would repeat year after year while we would also watch our ELDERS scurrying around for a shelter from the rain, looking out for an umbrella and instructing us to get inside fast. That was unimaginably abnormal!!

Back to the Future

The empty cup hit the glass-top with a clink. The pigeon fluttered and flew away. I was back in the 'future'. Decades had whizzed past in a jiffy. In these intervening years, I had joined college, landed a job, got married and had kids. Overwhelmed yet still lazing around, I strung those moments together to realize something strange. I found that I had become like my 'ELDERS'. In fact, I was an elder. Unknowingly, I had grown accustomed to seeking shelter from rain. Getting soaked in it now was no more a spontaneous act. Worse, it rather was a frequent resentment. Barefoot? My foot! Even the thought was an alien. Mind labored to replay the sound of a droplet. Too dim to hear!

Timeless Travel

Reflecting further, I questioned if I wasn't delighted with the rains any longer. Of course I was. The problem was my perspective. It was skewed. Over the years, it had embraced and latched on to the illusion of continuous 'fast life'. Wading through the relatively short-periods of recurring frenetic activities, it was conveniently ignoring the lulls. To be with Nature, it demanded A PRICE - free time (vacation), planning and potential travel.

Oh boy, I was missing something profound, something as natural as me. Tens of monsoons had glided away from right in front of my wide-shut eyes. So on that misty Sunday morning, I 'woke up' to walk down the deserted lanes again. Confounding my partner, who had just woken up, about my morning adventure, I headed down to the podium garden and let myself loose. Within next 15 minutes, my son (7 yrs) woke up too and joined me. Few minutes later my daughter (3 yrs) joined us. In the lap of nature, this was how we spent those 60+ minutes of our collective childhood:

1. Walked barefoot on the grass, pebbles, soil and water puddles

2. Watched the droplets create short ripples in the water on the glass roofs

3. Knelt to the ground, with an ear next to a puddle, to hear the 'plop' sound and its bubble formation

4. Stood under the palm trees (with fan-shaped wide leaves) to hear the distinct rain drops

5. Enjoyed the rain-drain from the glass roof

6. Observed rain-drops hanging precariously on tender buds and flowers

7. Held an open-umbrella on a palm raised high above the head, tossed it up and caught back

8. Splash-sploshed

9. Knocked at the door of one of our close friends and surprised them with a Good Morning

10. Received a paper drifting through the air reading - 'Happy Father's Day'

Back to the Future – Returns

An hour later, we were wrapping up our unplanned, timeless and travel-free time-travel. Ready to take the next flight, the elevator, BACK TO FUTURE!!

There is much more to Monsoon than a hot cup of tea/coffee and snacks. Only if you could let your heart express itself by permitting it to relive the memories!!

Moments of Choice

The Sula Vineyard restaurant was dimly lit. As I entered, I couldn't spot my already seated family easily. Landing on my chair, I noticed a group of about 12 men, colleagues in their mid-40s on a Night-Out in the vineyard, seated next to us on two joined tables. With 5-6 wine bottles already down, they had plenty to share and gossip about. 

However, there was a problem. They were loud, really loud. My spouse, who asked for a quieter table, was informed that the group was about to leave. Moments later, to our disappointment, couple of them ordered more dishes and their party continued. Soon some more groups and families trouped in and the place was now super vibrant (noisy?). By then, we had also adjusted our ear drums to high decibels.

As the cacophony was about to reach next level, suddenly a deathly hush fell over the place. One of the men in the loud group, a Sikh, instinctively pushed his chair back hard and sprang up. The waiter just froze in his place. The well-dressed manager turned speechless and confused. Finding his friend standing in the midst of eerie-silence, one of the men from the group, who was loitering outside, walked in menacingly. Other guests, including us, had their eyes popping out and glued at the scene waiting for the next expected action to unfold.

The waiter had spilled finger bowl water all over the Sikh. No one uttered anything for few seconds. That's when the Sikh looked into the waiter's eyes and said something - something abnormal for that situation, "Gentleman, I am alright. I am fine. Don't worry." Turning back to his friends, he spoke thus, "Come on guys, mistakes happen. When we work, mistakes do happen. It is normal." The menacing friend stopped in his steps. The waiter rushed to grab a cloth napkin. The manager pulled another chair. The guests turned to resume their dinner.

What a sigh of Surprise!! Moment of Choice, Presence of Mind and Profound Impact!! Awesome!! 

However, there was another surprise in store for him. Minutes later, a stranger walked up to the group interrupting their now-again animated discussion. "Excuse me gentlemen". Everyone looked up except the Sikh who had his back to the stranger. "Excuse me sir", the stranger repeated tapping his shoulder. The Sikh, visibly taken aback, turned around. The stranger continued, "Sir, I want to commend you on the way you reacted and responded to the incident. It was exceptional, graceful and respectful. I loved it and was inspired by your conduct." 

"What is your name sir?", asked the Sikh with a sense of humility and embarrassment. "My name is Vinod", I replied. "Where are you from, Vinod?", he asked politely. "I am from Mumbai." "Vinod, so nice of you. I sincerely appreciate your acknowledgement and sharing with me. Thank you very much."

We wished each other good night and I proceeded to my hotel. Walking back, I couldn't ignore the bounce in my steps. He also would surely have slept a happy and peaceful night. Our brief interaction will inspire and encourage us both for rest of our lives. And it may rub off on others too who were part of that eventful evening, physically. Or through this post!!

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Weeks later, we were in the Town of Strawberries, Mahabaleshwar (India). Strange enough, in our one full day's stay thus far, we hadn't tasted even a single one. As we entered the lunch area in the hotel, all our three kids went wild. There was an unattended box of strawberries on our lunch table (probably hand-picked). I tried to explain that it wasn't ours. But who cared?

I quickly called the waiter to inquire about the box. Before I could ask, a heavy voice ordered him, "Mr., open the box, empty it out on a plate and hand over the strawberries to kids." As I turned around, the man addressed the kids, "Kids, now they are yours. Eat them and have fun." Soon the kids were biting into the pink fruit, blissfully ignoring my pleas to at least say thank you. The man and his family were smiling. For next 5 minutes, I gestured toward their happy faces at least 3 times as our friends trickled in curious at the sight of strawberries.

That evening, the couple would celebrate their 34^th wedding anniversary and share the cake with kids and us!! 

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-Life is lived in moments, not days. Definitely not years!!

The Blue Marble and its Summer

In early Jan' 13, my son returned with 10 'Save Water Tickets' from his school. As part of the awareness campaign, they were playing an interesting 'game' wherein every child received 10 tickets with a goal to save the most. The rules are simple: water usage during snack or lunch break is 'free'. Usage during any other time requires one to spend a ticket. Its impact? He hasn't spent even a single ticket thus far. They also created reminders and posters for the campaign and my home now has a 'Save Water' reminder stuck near the kitchen tap.

Blue Marble

Blue Marble! That's how earth appears from far above in space. Of course we know this blue is 71% of the earth surface under water. Few among us may know that oceans hold 97% of the total water leaving only 3% fresh fit for use. Even fewer will know that 69% of this fresh water is locked in ice-caps or glaciers.

Lost? Don't worry as knowing these stats won't help to resolve the problem that my or your city is about to face again this summer - water scarcity. There is, however, one piece of data that could truly help but we are unaware of it. Amount of water we waste in a day!! Do you know it for yourself? Why not?

If the tap at your home runs dry this summer then you too have to own the blame. An average tap runs down about a litre in 6-8 seconds. Whenever we let it spurt directly into the drainage pipe, we contribute to our own problem. If you think you never do it then just observe yourself.

Do I use every drop of water effectively? No, I don't but I actively monitor my usage to save it, without sacrificing anything. Now is the time to act and save it for the summer. Few months down when you will hear 'Save Water' slogans all around, it will have little impact. Digging a well to put out a raging fire, does it work?

My Core Themes

So what do I do to save water? Nothing extraordinary. In fact there are already plenty of practical and exotic suggestions on the web. Though we may not relate to some of them but they do give us an idea. Personally, based on my lifestyle here are the four core-themes I stick to (with basic examples):

Reduce-Reduce-Reduce – This is the most basic and effective step. Turning the tap ON is never a problem. But opening it fully every time or for extended period or even when avoidable indeed is. Amount of water discharged from a tap depends on its flow and duration. Observe how every time we not only turn it fully but also let most of it drain directly into the sink.

So either open it only a little or turn it off early. Soon you will be able to do both. In fact, I discovered that I rarely had to turn it fully. This new found awareness further led me to even stop it while soaping hands or face, rinsing mouth and utensils. I also started noticing others e.g. our domestic help would use the tap like a fire-hose and occasionally keep it running while cleaning utensils. All these 'leaks' have now been plugged.

Strangely, you may also feel a strong 'resistance' to act especially when water is being used for personal care. Notice your reluctance even when opportunity is obvious. That's the precise moment when you must not back off.

Soil Less – In kitchen, do you ever think before using an extra plate, bowl, spoon or picking another glass? Note that they all need to be cleaned eventually. Same applies for clothing too. If you soil less, you need less water.

I find ample opportunities to avoid soiling articles at home. In office, I now use water-bottle instead of hard-plastic glasses from the pantry that are washed for reuse.

Reuse – This comprises of two main action-areas:

a. Reuse of water - Here the emphasis is on reusing it. A simple example is collecting water used for washing vegetables or fruits and using it to water plants. Another reuse could be while rinsing lightly-soiled utensils.

b. Reuse of Articles - This involves reusing articles or utensils before eventually washing them thus reducing the number of soiled-articles that would need cleaning.

Share – Without rallying others, your tap will still run dry. Share your initiative, spread it wide and create awareness. While we can't 'manufacture' water but we surely can control its utilization. This is critical. Now is the time to act. So wake yourself up, and others, before it is late.

I intend to save at least 2000 litres this year. This would be more than the drinking-water needs of my family for the WHOLE YEAR. Besides, I shall progress on my goal of 100 trees and digging trenches for water conservation as part of Hariyali NGO association through my office.

My Wish

This summer too, on a sweltering day with few trickles of sweat down your head and body, your dry throat will be soothed by a chilled glass of fresh water. As your hands will pour it gently on the thirsty tongue, your eyes will close involuntarily before you gulp it all down. With a deep sigh, you will keep the emptied glass back on the table.

May this glass of water you drink be saved by ME!! Will YOU wish the same for me too?

The Key to Million Smiles - II

In the last post on touching lives, we explored how a slight shift in perspective could bring a huge difference to countless 'Ordinary Lives'. Now we shall analyze the necessity of another 'tweak' concerning 'Sharing Experiences' and its power in further broadening our horizon of impact. Here our theme will be 'the under-privileged', one of the reasons for our belief in 'Make a Difference'.

Among a staggering 7.1 billions of us on earth, have you ever wondered how many you know reasonably well i.e. having spoken to multiple times? My own guesstimate is around 2000 persons (max?). That includes extended family, friends and acquaintances, colleagues, college-mates and so on. Think for a few seconds to have your number before you proceed.

The Mirror

It was a drizzling July-weekend morning in Mumbai when I bumped into Thiru while heading out for a cup of tea. He was a colleague form Chennai on deputation for 3 months in MY city. Slowing down my drowsy steps further, I casually remarked about his morning adventure. “On a trek?”. "No, to the train station", he said. "Oh, on a city sight-seeing tour!," I declared confidently. "I am going to Central Mumbai for teaching computer to kids", and he went on to narrate his experience, upon my probe, with humility and a touch of contentment. He spoke about his association, a smart kid, their excitement and chocolates.

I was numbed. Here I was, staying in Mumbai for 5 years, thinking of making a difference but didn't know where to start from. With a sheepish smile, I also expressed my desire to do "something". Honestly, an attempt to shed my guilt - finding solace in mere expression. How easy and effortless!!

For next two months, we would work in same project, lunch together and board the same bus. But I just COULD NOT lead myself to accompany him. Didn't I want to make a difference? I truly wanted to BUT probably on my own terms. Without any discomfort, without losing my weekend and depriving myself of the blissful early-morning sleep! His SHARING of experience, however, did stir my world and later helped me step out of my 'comfort' zone.

Horizons of Impact

There is no dearth of people with such a gap between their desire and actions. When eventually we do make an effort, our actions unwittingly limit the very impact we set out to create. Based on how we operate, there could be different horizons or categories with the degree of impact and its sustenance varying dramatically across them. Higher the horizon, broader is the impact. All higher levels of course carry the characteristics of lower ones.

1. The 'Unawares' – They are oblivious, or even indifferent, of the need for them to get involved. However, I would presume their number to be a bit low. They are busy in their world grappling with their seemingly endless troubles. To them, it is a problem for the authorities to address. They may also have a feeling that nothing much can be improved anyway, a gross under-realization of their potential.

2. The 'Sympathizers' – If you often think of giving-back to the community but unable to then this is your group. Find peace in the fact that majority of us reside here. Despite their intentions, they don't take steps due to perceived scarcity of time, lack of guidance and easy-opportunities (don't know where/how to start), mistrust of NGOs/org and many other good reasons. In nutshell, they are the fence-sitters who need a nudge or two to get rolling. I was also part of this group until Thiru shared his experience.

This group is so large that it can tilt the whole scale if moved even a notch up. But who will prod them?

3. The 'Donors' – This probably is the second largest group. Donors act in an individual capacity and form the backbone of every social uplift effort. Though they help sustain a movement, their behavior constrains the very change they intend to usher. They DO NOT share their contribution openly. They either are overly humble or feel uncomfortable. Consequently, their efforts do not inspire others thus limiting its impact just to them and the needy.

This is what needs to change. Only if they can open up and start sharing, the whole game will change. Judge it for yourself if you are a donor. Did you ever share the experience beyond your family or group that accompanied you?

4. The 'Advocates' – An advocate is a donor who has stepped out of his comfort zone. They speak up for the cause with passion and proactively, encourage people and rally them. Realizing the constraints of otherwise individual-contribution, they spread awareness among ‘Unawares’ by sharing their experiences. They nudge the sympathizers into donors or even push them higher. Such a perspective is critical to broaden the support, sustain the efforts and bring a lasting change.

Unfortunately, few people operate at this level. The day Donors turn into Advocates, the world will transform into a more livable planet due to their enormous impact. Arun is one such advocate. If Thiru helped me become a donor, Arun pushed me even higher by highlighting the difference in extent of change created by a donor and an advocate.

5. The 'Anchors' – As the name suggests, they hold the fort. They create opportunities for others. Donors or advocates will be lost without them. They either manage events/org professionally or volunteer to manage from time to time. They also hook into wider events by organizing similar ones locally. They create the biggest impact - acting as a channel for all others and channeling the combined energy to the needy. They impact everyone!!

Interestingly, people don't move into this level owing to an internal conflict - a misconception about fall in effective individual contribution. This is removed when one looks at the overall objective e.g. in a tree plantation drive, do you wish to see 10 saplings planted by you or 500? At the end, does it matter who planted them?

Which level is the best to operate at?

Every level above 'Unawares' is important. They all make a difference though results vary. In fact, an individual rarely stays just at one level. He plays different roles on different occasions and that's the beauty of it.

Having said this, Advocates and Anchors are still critical. To realize their value, imagine the world if everyone were to be Sympathizers or Donors. There wouldn't have been a Gandhi, MLK or Mother Teresa.

Path to a Better World

So, how many in my circle are above the level of Sympathizers? Among the 2K, may be 50? But is that the real number? I don't believe so as I know there are many more who are just Donors. The day they start sharing, the count will rise and they will inspire many more like me to move up a level thus expanding the support for the objective we all care about though buried deep in our hearts-

To leave a world more beautiful than what we inherited!! 
Do not contribute in isolation. Share your experiences, exhort and inspire others. That is the only path to a promising future!!

The Key to Million Smiles

Many a times all it takes is a slight shift in perspective to follow through with our intentions and fulfill desires. Otherwise the robotic everyday life and its whirlpool of regular chores never ceases to consume us every moment.

One intention we all harbor is 'Making a Difference or Touching Lives' but unable to act due to perceived lack of time. This planet, the world, poverty, the underprivileged, the elderly and the homeless cross our mind frequently. We do grab sporadic opportunities to contribute our bit but the results are a mere fraction of our true potential. Besides, it isn't sustainable unless we dive in leaving everything aside. 

So, how do we maximize and sustain the impact we so dearly intend? The answer again lies in our perspective. We must 'tweak' it to do two things:

(i) Dissociate 'Make a Difference or Touching Lives' from 'People-in-Distress'
(ii) Spread awareness and inspire others to help sustain the change. This topic is for next post.

i. Change the way we look at 'Make a Difference' 

If we analyze aforesaid thoughts crossing our mind, and many more like them, they have a pattern. They mostly relate to problems, unfortunate people, their misery and even helplessness. But is touching lives just about helping people-in-distress? We can and must do it in everyday life with ORDINARY people too - family, friends, relatives, colleagues and customers. It is with them we spend most of our life and hence can make the biggest difference. 

How we approach and engage ourselves in everything we do creates profound impact on the world around and in us. At the end, how well we have lived our lives will also be defined by this simple fact. Lack of time is not the constraint, lack of perspective and attitude is.

The short true story here is all about how 'Perspective and Attitude' help touch countless lives. Sometimes we won't even realize the extent of its impact. 

Tale of Young Ordinary Lives

In the monsoon of 1992, I, among a flock of over 300 youngsters, had landed on the outskirts of a small town in Southern India to earn our Engineering degrees!! Travelling 1000s of miles away from home, many of us had left the security of family for the first time in our lives.

In last two decades, whenever I have dusted that 4 year-window for a quick peek, a person has always smiled past it vividly reminding me of his impact in my life, and probably in lives of thousands others!! 

The Acknowledgement
It was my second week in college. Ragging had already crushed our excitement. With fear in the heart, weary eyes, disturbed mind and occasionally red cheeks, hell couldn't be worse than this, so I thought. One afternoon, as I was leaping up the curved stairway of our hostel floors, there he was, dressed in khaki uniform, descending one step at a time. Wearing plastic 'rain-shoes', black-framed (or brown?) glasses and no cap, he was in his 50s. Oozing incredible calmness, his wrinkled eyes and soft smile seemed to acknowledge the storm in my world. 

"Any letter for me, room 63?", I asked hesitantly. Pausing in his steps, he dug into a hand-held bundle and took a while before signalling with a polite shake of the head. "Can you check the bag?," I pointed to the one suspended around his shoulder. "No, it isn't there either", was the quick response before his voice was buried in the cacophony of others who, like me, had surrounded him by then. Until that moment, I had never realized the value of a postman. 

A Glimmer of Hope(s)
In the following years, the way he would interact and serve us, his customers, it seemed as if this was the only thing he ever wanted to do. He merrily walked the campus with our load and would often be stopped for inquiries about mail. I never saw him declining such ad-hoc requests. In those early 90s, when even land-lines, let alone mobiles, were true luxury in small towns, he was our hope. And he never let it dim by happily flipping the bundled-letters for us, even if we had received one the day before. 

Somewhere along our journey, we voluntarily started 'tipping' him upon receiving a check or money-order. If we collected it from post office after a missed delivery, we would leave the tip for him with his colleagues.

He seemed to understand and realize what we all longed for. It wasn't a piece of hand-written paper but a subtle assurance that, yes, it would arrive one day. And that he communicated splendidly without words - a smile followed by his polite shake of the head. Indeed a man of few words!! He was living up to his job - Deliver Letters - in a way that would make thousands like me cherish his memories for rest of their lives. 

The Last Day
The whole college knew about it. He arrived in same slow steady steps, smile and happiness of contentment. This time, however, we were shaking hands with him, for the the first and last time ever. There wasn't even a hint of today being his last day. Few good Samaritans ran collection-campaign, a gesture of our collective THANK YOU.

Another postman replaced him for remaining few months (or an year?). He too lived up to his job description - Deliver Letters. I have no memories of him. None whatsoever.

Knock at the Door
I had graduated now and was based in Mumbai with already an year into my job. Hopping through TV channels on a hot Saturday afternoon, the noise and my frustration was interrupted by shrillness of the bell. Dragging myself to the door, I opened it to receive someone whom I had never seen all year round. 

"I am your postman, Diwali Baksheesh please". 
Welcome to Mumbai, and this World!! This is how we live!!

Wholesome Living and Health

Three golden rules drive longevity and health of cars universally: (a) Regular Service (b) Drive at least once a week and (c) Good quality fuel. For our owned cars, we follow them almost 100%. For rented cars, however, we flout them 100% and don't care. The very same rules govern the longevity and physical health of humans too. How far do we go in following them for ourselves? Is our concern for our health a reflection of an owned or a rented car? 

Body - The Trigger for Change

Body is what we think of when the topic is health. Though it is the most common trigger for our lifestyle change, we give a damn to the golden rules. For years, we drive it from one parking place to another with least effort and discomfort, never really mindful of what we eat. Only when it breaks down or warns us (medical reports), we pause and contemplate some 'action'. And what do we do? We enroll in a gym, make advance payments (for commitment) and try altering our eating habits. Body, accustomed to luxurious living, is now dragged ruthlessly to gym and is deprived of its favourite delicacies. This 'punishment' style of ushering a change works by forcing it into submission. Does it last beyond a month or two? 

Sustaining the Change - Will Power or Love?

The problem is our approach and source of motivation (WHY). While our motivation/WHY is to fix reports fast, the approach is like one time project. Initiating lifestyle change is easy but sustaining it is a challenge. We rely on our will-power to keep going. It does propel us out of inertia but how long can it support something we don't love? Sound health is not a onetime task. Inactivity of a period can't be compensated by hyper-activity in another. 

For lasting change, we need to weave our plans around what we love to make it a routine than a strenuous effort. A good plan respects body, has variety and emphasizes on awareness/check-ups. It starts slow and builds on, eventually engaging for 20+ minutes at a stretch. Does it mean our short walk or taking stairs is a waste? No. Our 'WHY' is an active lifestyle. We don't turn into an active human being at the stroke of 'T' hrs every day. Such activities help internalize the change and develop a passion for good health. So go for them. Few other tips are:

1. Don't rely solely on gym. It is just one of the alternatives. 

2. Don't push yourself too hard. Skip a day or two if feel like. Don't feel guilty.

3. Adopt different forms of exercises - dance, climbing stairs, jogging, cycling, skipping, sports, playing with kids, brisk walk, swimming and many more. Learn a skill, if you don't know.

4. Choose an exercise partner. It will keep you going. I was inspired and encouraged by my college friend Rohan and I still follow his words more than a decade-and-half later.

5. A fixed exercise time is helpful but not critical. 

Welcome Healthy Food

Body is as healthy as the food it digests. An active lifestyle can't undo the harm of regular unhealthy food we indulge in at parties, office, malls or even home. Avoid the swing from addiction to complete abstinence as it also relies on will-power and won't last long. To develop healthy eating habit:

1. A mindful occasional indulgence is OK. Complete abstinence is cruelty to taste buds. 

2. Become aware of the quality of your eatables, what is and is not healthy.

3. Observe your eating patterns and their occasions/context. 

4. Pre-empt your indulgence or its impact by eating healthy snack before such occasions. You won't eat something, however delicious, when you are not hungry.

5. Consciously adopt regular light meals/snacks to minimize the opportunities to slip.

Regular exercise and healthy diet keeps our body fit. But is that enough?

Mind and Heart

Mind and heart are the other two aspects to wholesome living. Mind controls our thoughts which impact how we feel. By clinging to experiences, it creates illusion of busyness, lack of time, conflict in priorities and feelings of stress. Exercise is a stress buster and cleanses the mind. Ability to 'Let Go' opens it up to new perspectives and unlocks time. Learning new skills, self-belief and being creative even in mundane tasks keeps it abuzz with healthy thoughts. 

Heart refers to the relationship we share with loved ones and others around us. Our loved ones are our support and wish two things from us - TIME and ATTENTION. So, organize your exercise schedule involving them. Express gratitude regularly for their love and concern. Think beyond self and adopt conscious kindness. Indulge in good causes and make a difference to your world. Such practices keep the heart brimming with fulfillment.

The Beautiful SELF

Wholesome living and being healthy is not just about our body. It is about the delicate balance among body, mind and heart. Your SELF, and even others around you, are chirpy and healthy when these three are in balance. It is about  indulgence in everything in moderation, not abstinence. 

To live forever is another fantasy but living more each day can be a reality. In a long journey, a healthy car does matter. But who sits next to you, how thrilled you are in each other's company and where all you go matters even more!!

Is it possible to pursue happiness if the pursuit itself does not make you happy? - Deepak Malhotra