Showing posts with label appreciation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label appreciation. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 March 2013

Moments of Choice

The Sula Vineyard restaurant was dimly lit. As I entered, I couldn't spot my already seated family easily. Landing on my chair, I noticed a group of about 12 men, colleagues in their mid-40s on a Night-Out in the vineyard, seated next to us on two joined tables. With 5-6 wine bottles already down, they had plenty to share and gossip about. 

However, there was a problem. They were loud, really loud. My spouse, who asked for a quieter table, was informed that the group was about to leave. Moments later, to our disappointment, couple of them ordered more dishes and their party continued. Soon some more groups and families trouped in and the place was now super vibrant (noisy?). By then, we had also adjusted our ear drums to high decibels.

As the cacophony was about to reach next level, suddenly a deathly hush fell over the place. One of the men in the loud group, a Sikh, instinctively pushed his chair back hard and sprang up. The waiter just froze in his place. The well-dressed manager turned speechless and confused. Finding his friend standing in the midst of eerie-silence, one of the men from the group, who was loitering outside, walked in menacingly. Other guests, including us, had their eyes popping out and glued at the scene waiting for the next expected action to unfold.

The waiter had spilled finger bowl water all over the Sikh. No one uttered anything for few seconds. That's when the Sikh looked into the waiter's eyes and said something - something abnormal for that situation, "Gentleman, I am alright. I am fine. Don't worry." Turning back to his friends, he spoke thus, "Come on guys, mistakes happen. When we work, mistakes do happen. It is normal." The menacing friend stopped in his steps. The waiter rushed to grab a cloth napkin. The manager pulled another chair. The guests turned to resume their dinner.

What a sigh of Surprise!! Moment of Choice, Presence of Mind and Profound Impact!! Awesome!! 

However, there was another surprise in store for him. Minutes later, a stranger walked up to the group interrupting their now-again animated discussion. "Excuse me gentlemen". Everyone looked up except the Sikh who had his back to the stranger. "Excuse me sir", the stranger repeated tapping his shoulder. The Sikh, visibly taken aback, turned around. The stranger continued, "Sir, I want to commend you on the way you reacted and responded to the incident. It was exceptional, graceful and respectful. I loved it and was inspired by your conduct." 

"What is your name sir?", asked the Sikh with a sense of humility and embarrassment. "My name is Vinod", I replied. "Where are you from, Vinod?", he asked politely. "I am from Mumbai." "Vinod, so nice of you. I sincerely appreciate your acknowledgement and sharing with me. Thank you very much."

We wished each other good night and I proceeded to my hotel. Walking back, I couldn't ignore the bounce in my steps. He also would surely have slept a happy and peaceful night. Our brief interaction will inspire and encourage us both for rest of our lives. And it may rub off on others too who were part of that eventful evening, physically. Or through this post!!
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Weeks later, we were in the Town of Strawberries, Mahabaleshwar (India). Strange enough, in our one full day's stay thus far, we hadn't tasted even a single one. As we entered the lunch area in the hotel, all our three kids went wild. There was an unattended box of strawberries on our lunch table (probably hand-picked). I tried to explain that it wasn't ours. But who cared?

I quickly called the waiter to inquire about the box. Before I could ask, a heavy voice ordered him, "Mr., open the box, empty it out on a plate and hand over the strawberries to kids." As I turned around, the man addressed the kids, "Kids, now they are yours. Eat them and have fun." Soon the kids were biting into the pink fruit, blissfully ignoring my pleas to at least say thank you. The man and his family were smiling. For next 5 minutes, I gestured toward their happy faces at least 3 times as our friends trickled in curious at the sight of strawberries.

That evening, the couple would celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary and share the cake with kids and us!! 
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-Life is lived in moments, not days. Definitely not years!!

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Appreciation and Gratitude

Your smile touched ears, body developed goose bumps, heart paused to savour the moments and mind didn't care interpreting the true words. Or you were left somewhat embarrassed too. Every word was about you – just about you – soaking your being and energizing the soul.

Showers of genuine appreciation and gratitude! When did you last experience them?

When The Stream Dries Up
As we go about our day, our actions and behaviour impact the world around us. When the impact is not to the liking of others, it is always noticed. This is due to our strong affinity for dislikes. They spring to life instinctively at the slightest sign of uneasiness, inconvenience or unpleasant experiences and are often shown too. We don't get used to them. Remember how we are unable to get away with our mistakes, flaws or irritating-yet-harmless actions, be it at home or outside? When repeated, people quickly run out of patience and don't hesitate to give us a piece of their mind.

Now, on occasions when we do manage to showcase something good, stream of their words dries up. It produces a mere trickle - "Thank You". They quickly get used to it, start taking for granted and its recurring display generates no emotions.

The Occasional Speakers
Things are not that bad either. Others do indulge in wishing, congratulating and showering us with occasional droplets. On a personal level, we are 'entitled' to couple of special days in an year when we are pampered and made to feel special. These are our anniversaries - weddings or birthdays. In office, when we switch projects/jobs, 'farewell-speakers' grab that opportunity to explain how extra-ordinary we were, list our 'supermanic' abilities and how much we would be missed. Annual appraisal is another ritual.

Is that all? Think about it. Are we really NOT doing anything worthwhile throughout the year for persons around us?

Flipping the Coin
Flip the coin now. How about this-

When was the last time we showered someone with genuine appreciation or gratitude? Try recalling. Spend a moment about persons in our lives and what they mean to us. Think about their favours, gestures, executing daily chores for us and living up to our expectations. Or helping us in pursuit of our dreams, shouldering our load. Or inspiring and changing our lives. Or giving us memories we cherish even today. Or standing up for us in our absence. Or smiles, lighting up our mood, wink of eyes. Or giving us company and listening to our ramblings. Or simply being there. And many more.

Why do WE forget them? Why do WE wait for special days or even for them to leave us before we realize their worth?

Even our own indulgence in appreciation remains occasional. Our unawareness - "It never occurred to me" - is a big reason as we too take others for granted. Some of us actually feel embarrassed expressing gratitude (too formal) while others have "They know it" attitude. Sometimes, we may lack the courage as it would require acknowledging our own shortcomings. Worse is the case when we look for "What is in it for me?" and nourish "Mentality of Scarcity".

The Walk Beyond Regret
In many simple every day scenarios, we actually get to choose between an expression of regret-and-gratitude or just regret. Sadly, all of us choose to express mere regret and then stop just there. One such recurring scenario is-

What do we say on being late for an appointment? A "Sorry" or "I'm sorry for being late" or its numerous variants? They all express just our regret and miss something very basic. They do not appreciate the generosity of the person who waited for us. We never go on to add, "...and THANK YOU for waiting for me". How unfortunate that we feel lighter just by shedding our regret and fail to appreciate others' generosity.

Color the Lives
People rightly believe that their presence and actions make difference to our lives. When we express gratitude, it validates and reinforces that belief. It strengthens our bond, brings a sense of fulfillment, joy and freedom. By taking others for granted, we are being insensitive and unkind to them. The least we can do is express gratitude.

Let us not wait for an occasion to celebrate their presence. Rather create one to surprise them, embarrass them, overwhelm them and share their goodness stories with others. Color their lives. Make them feel special. Make them glow. Don’t just be farewell speakers.

People don't remember what you said. However, they do remember how you made them feel. Maya Angelou  

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