Moments of Choice

The Sula Vineyard restaurant was dimly lit. As I entered, I couldn't spot my already seated family easily. Landing on my chair, I noticed a group of about 12 men, colleagues in their mid-40s on a Night-Out in the vineyard, seated next to us on two joined tables. With 5-6 wine bottles already down, they had plenty to share and gossip about. 

However, there was a problem. They were loud, really loud. My spouse, who asked for a quieter table, was informed that the group was about to leave. Moments later, to our disappointment, couple of them ordered more dishes and their party continued. Soon some more groups and families trouped in and the place was now super vibrant (noisy?). By then, we had also adjusted our ear drums to high decibels.

As the cacophony was about to reach next level, suddenly a deathly hush fell over the place. One of the men in the loud group, a Sikh, instinctively pushed his chair back hard and sprang up. The waiter just froze in his place. The well-dressed manager turned speechless and confused. Finding his friend standing in the midst of eerie-silence, one of the men from the group, who was loitering outside, walked in menacingly. Other guests, including us, had their eyes popping out and glued at the scene waiting for the next expected action to unfold.

The waiter had spilled finger bowl water all over the Sikh. No one uttered anything for few seconds. That's when the Sikh looked into the waiter's eyes and said something - something abnormal for that situation, "Gentleman, I am alright. I am fine. Don't worry." Turning back to his friends, he spoke thus, "Come on guys, mistakes happen. When we work, mistakes do happen. It is normal." The menacing friend stopped in his steps. The waiter rushed to grab a cloth napkin. The manager pulled another chair. The guests turned to resume their dinner.

What a sigh of Surprise!! Moment of Choice, Presence of Mind and Profound Impact!! Awesome!! 

However, there was another surprise in store for him. Minutes later, a stranger walked up to the group interrupting their now-again animated discussion. "Excuse me gentlemen". Everyone looked up except the Sikh who had his back to the stranger. "Excuse me sir", the stranger repeated tapping his shoulder. The Sikh, visibly taken aback, turned around. The stranger continued, "Sir, I want to commend you on the way you reacted and responded to the incident. It was exceptional, graceful and respectful. I loved it and was inspired by your conduct." 

"What is your name sir?", asked the Sikh with a sense of humility and embarrassment. "My name is Vinod", I replied. "Where are you from, Vinod?", he asked politely. "I am from Mumbai." "Vinod, so nice of you. I sincerely appreciate your acknowledgement and sharing with me. Thank you very much."

We wished each other good night and I proceeded to my hotel. Walking back, I couldn't ignore the bounce in my steps. He also would surely have slept a happy and peaceful night. Our brief interaction will inspire and encourage us both for rest of our lives. And it may rub off on others too who were part of that eventful evening, physically. Or through this post!!

--------------------------------------------------

Weeks later, we were in the Town of Strawberries, Mahabaleshwar (India). Strange enough, in our one full day's stay thus far, we hadn't tasted even a single one. As we entered the lunch area in the hotel, all our three kids went wild. There was an unattended box of strawberries on our lunch table (probably hand-picked). I tried to explain that it wasn't ours. But who cared?

I quickly called the waiter to inquire about the box. Before I could ask, a heavy voice ordered him, "Mr., open the box, empty it out on a plate and hand over the strawberries to kids." As I turned around, the man addressed the kids, "Kids, now they are yours. Eat them and have fun." Soon the kids were biting into the pink fruit, blissfully ignoring my pleas to at least say thank you. The man and his family were smiling. For next 5 minutes, I gestured toward their happy faces at least 3 times as our friends trickled in curious at the sight of strawberries.

That evening, the couple would celebrate their 34^th wedding anniversary and share the cake with kids and us!! 

--------------------------------------------------

-Life is lived in moments, not days. Definitely not years!!

The Blue Marble and its Summer

In early Jan' 13, my son returned with 10 'Save Water Tickets' from his school. As part of the awareness campaign, they were playing an interesting 'game' wherein every child received 10 tickets with a goal to save the most. The rules are simple: water usage during snack or lunch break is 'free'. Usage during any other time requires one to spend a ticket. Its impact? He hasn't spent even a single ticket thus far. They also created reminders and posters for the campaign and my home now has a 'Save Water' reminder stuck near the kitchen tap.

Blue Marble

Blue Marble! That's how earth appears from far above in space. Of course we know this blue is 71% of the earth surface under water. Few among us may know that oceans hold 97% of the total water leaving only 3% fresh fit for use. Even fewer will know that 69% of this fresh water is locked in ice-caps or glaciers.

Lost? Don't worry as knowing these stats won't help to resolve the problem that my or your city is about to face again this summer - water scarcity. There is, however, one piece of data that could truly help but we are unaware of it. Amount of water we waste in a day!! Do you know it for yourself? Why not?

If the tap at your home runs dry this summer then you too have to own the blame. An average tap runs down about a litre in 6-8 seconds. Whenever we let it spurt directly into the drainage pipe, we contribute to our own problem. If you think you never do it then just observe yourself.

Do I use every drop of water effectively? No, I don't but I actively monitor my usage to save it, without sacrificing anything. Now is the time to act and save it for the summer. Few months down when you will hear 'Save Water' slogans all around, it will have little impact. Digging a well to put out a raging fire, does it work?

My Core Themes

So what do I do to save water? Nothing extraordinary. In fact there are already plenty of practical and exotic suggestions on the web. Though we may not relate to some of them but they do give us an idea. Personally, based on my lifestyle here are the four core-themes I stick to (with basic examples):

Reduce-Reduce-Reduce – This is the most basic and effective step. Turning the tap ON is never a problem. But opening it fully every time or for extended period or even when avoidable indeed is. Amount of water discharged from a tap depends on its flow and duration. Observe how every time we not only turn it fully but also let most of it drain directly into the sink.

So either open it only a little or turn it off early. Soon you will be able to do both. In fact, I discovered that I rarely had to turn it fully. This new found awareness further led me to even stop it while soaping hands or face, rinsing mouth and utensils. I also started noticing others e.g. our domestic help would use the tap like a fire-hose and occasionally keep it running while cleaning utensils. All these 'leaks' have now been plugged.

Strangely, you may also feel a strong 'resistance' to act especially when water is being used for personal care. Notice your reluctance even when opportunity is obvious. That's the precise moment when you must not back off.

Soil Less – In kitchen, do you ever think before using an extra plate, bowl, spoon or picking another glass? Note that they all need to be cleaned eventually. Same applies for clothing too. If you soil less, you need less water.

I find ample opportunities to avoid soiling articles at home. In office, I now use water-bottle instead of hard-plastic glasses from the pantry that are washed for reuse.

Reuse – This comprises of two main action-areas:

a. Reuse of water - Here the emphasis is on reusing it. A simple example is collecting water used for washing vegetables or fruits and using it to water plants. Another reuse could be while rinsing lightly-soiled utensils.

b. Reuse of Articles - This involves reusing articles or utensils before eventually washing them thus reducing the number of soiled-articles that would need cleaning.

Share – Without rallying others, your tap will still run dry. Share your initiative, spread it wide and create awareness. While we can't 'manufacture' water but we surely can control its utilization. This is critical. Now is the time to act. So wake yourself up, and others, before it is late.

I intend to save at least 2000 litres this year. This would be more than the drinking-water needs of my family for the WHOLE YEAR. Besides, I shall progress on my goal of 100 trees and digging trenches for water conservation as part of Hariyali NGO association through my office.

My Wish

This summer too, on a sweltering day with few trickles of sweat down your head and body, your dry throat will be soothed by a chilled glass of fresh water. As your hands will pour it gently on the thirsty tongue, your eyes will close involuntarily before you gulp it all down. With a deep sigh, you will keep the emptied glass back on the table.

May this glass of water you drink be saved by ME!! Will YOU wish the same for me too?

The Key to Million Smiles - II

In the last post on touching lives, we explored how a slight shift in perspective could bring a huge difference to countless 'Ordinary Lives'. Now we shall analyze the necessity of another 'tweak' concerning 'Sharing Experiences' and its power in further broadening our horizon of impact. Here our theme will be 'the under-privileged', one of the reasons for our belief in 'Make a Difference'.

Among a staggering 7.1 billions of us on earth, have you ever wondered how many you know reasonably well i.e. having spoken to multiple times? My own guesstimate is around 2000 persons (max?). That includes extended family, friends and acquaintances, colleagues, college-mates and so on. Think for a few seconds to have your number before you proceed.

The Mirror

It was a drizzling July-weekend morning in Mumbai when I bumped into Thiru while heading out for a cup of tea. He was a colleague form Chennai on deputation for 3 months in MY city. Slowing down my drowsy steps further, I casually remarked about his morning adventure. “On a trek?”. "No, to the train station", he said. "Oh, on a city sight-seeing tour!," I declared confidently. "I am going to Central Mumbai for teaching computer to kids", and he went on to narrate his experience, upon my probe, with humility and a touch of contentment. He spoke about his association, a smart kid, their excitement and chocolates.

I was numbed. Here I was, staying in Mumbai for 5 years, thinking of making a difference but didn't know where to start from. With a sheepish smile, I also expressed my desire to do "something". Honestly, an attempt to shed my guilt - finding solace in mere expression. How easy and effortless!!

For next two months, we would work in same project, lunch together and board the same bus. But I just COULD NOT lead myself to accompany him. Didn't I want to make a difference? I truly wanted to BUT probably on my own terms. Without any discomfort, without losing my weekend and depriving myself of the blissful early-morning sleep! His SHARING of experience, however, did stir my world and later helped me step out of my 'comfort' zone.

Horizons of Impact

There is no dearth of people with such a gap between their desire and actions. When eventually we do make an effort, our actions unwittingly limit the very impact we set out to create. Based on how we operate, there could be different horizons or categories with the degree of impact and its sustenance varying dramatically across them. Higher the horizon, broader is the impact. All higher levels of course carry the characteristics of lower ones.

1. The 'Unawares' – They are oblivious, or even indifferent, of the need for them to get involved. However, I would presume their number to be a bit low. They are busy in their world grappling with their seemingly endless troubles. To them, it is a problem for the authorities to address. They may also have a feeling that nothing much can be improved anyway, a gross under-realization of their potential.

2. The 'Sympathizers' – If you often think of giving-back to the community but unable to then this is your group. Find peace in the fact that majority of us reside here. Despite their intentions, they don't take steps due to perceived scarcity of time, lack of guidance and easy-opportunities (don't know where/how to start), mistrust of NGOs/org and many other good reasons. In nutshell, they are the fence-sitters who need a nudge or two to get rolling. I was also part of this group until Thiru shared his experience.

This group is so large that it can tilt the whole scale if moved even a notch up. But who will prod them?

3. The 'Donors' – This probably is the second largest group. Donors act in an individual capacity and form the backbone of every social uplift effort. Though they help sustain a movement, their behavior constrains the very change they intend to usher. They DO NOT share their contribution openly. They either are overly humble or feel uncomfortable. Consequently, their efforts do not inspire others thus limiting its impact just to them and the needy.

This is what needs to change. Only if they can open up and start sharing, the whole game will change. Judge it for yourself if you are a donor. Did you ever share the experience beyond your family or group that accompanied you?

4. The 'Advocates' – An advocate is a donor who has stepped out of his comfort zone. They speak up for the cause with passion and proactively, encourage people and rally them. Realizing the constraints of otherwise individual-contribution, they spread awareness among ‘Unawares’ by sharing their experiences. They nudge the sympathizers into donors or even push them higher. Such a perspective is critical to broaden the support, sustain the efforts and bring a lasting change.

Unfortunately, few people operate at this level. The day Donors turn into Advocates, the world will transform into a more livable planet due to their enormous impact. Arun is one such advocate. If Thiru helped me become a donor, Arun pushed me even higher by highlighting the difference in extent of change created by a donor and an advocate.

5. The 'Anchors' – As the name suggests, they hold the fort. They create opportunities for others. Donors or advocates will be lost without them. They either manage events/org professionally or volunteer to manage from time to time. They also hook into wider events by organizing similar ones locally. They create the biggest impact - acting as a channel for all others and channeling the combined energy to the needy. They impact everyone!!

Interestingly, people don't move into this level owing to an internal conflict - a misconception about fall in effective individual contribution. This is removed when one looks at the overall objective e.g. in a tree plantation drive, do you wish to see 10 saplings planted by you or 500? At the end, does it matter who planted them?

Which level is the best to operate at?

Every level above 'Unawares' is important. They all make a difference though results vary. In fact, an individual rarely stays just at one level. He plays different roles on different occasions and that's the beauty of it.

Having said this, Advocates and Anchors are still critical. To realize their value, imagine the world if everyone were to be Sympathizers or Donors. There wouldn't have been a Gandhi, MLK or Mother Teresa.

Path to a Better World

So, how many in my circle are above the level of Sympathizers? Among the 2K, may be 50? But is that the real number? I don't believe so as I know there are many more who are just Donors. The day they start sharing, the count will rise and they will inspire many more like me to move up a level thus expanding the support for the objective we all care about though buried deep in our hearts-

To leave a world more beautiful than what we inherited!! 
Do not contribute in isolation. Share your experiences, exhort and inspire others. That is the only path to a promising future!!